Heal My Soul

rain-316579_640Do you ever find yourself crying during Mass? I know I do. Sometimes it is related to my prayers for a child. Other times it might be from missing my family. Sometimes the tears start to fall without me even really knowing why.   It seems that each time I am overcome with emotion like this, it is during Communion. Sometimes I feel silly or even guilty for crying, especially if I am not entirely sure what brought on the tears. Here we are at the highest point of Mass and I am crying…what is wrong with me?

For a while I thought maybe it was just me. That I was just some crazy person who couldn’t control her emotions. But as I have talked with some family members and friends, I found that they have similar experiences.

Why? Why do the tears begin to fall and emotions take over? And why does it seem to be during or leading up to Communion? Is it just a coincidence?

I don’t think so. You see, when I find myself crying during Mass, it is generally not out of sorrow.   They are not tears of anger or sadness but rather tears of pent up emotions of all sorts.  I have come to realize that perhaps it is not my emotions taking control over me, but rather it is the release of these emotions that causes the tears to flow.

As we prepare to receive Our Lord in the Eucharist we pray:

“Lord I am not worthy that You should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.”

We are sinners. Time and time again we fail to do the Lord’s will, to trust Him completely, to love as He loved. But the beauty of the grace and love of Christ is that He looks past all of that and still loves us so much that He gave His life for us. Before receiving Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, we take time in prayer to acknowledge our failures, welcome His mercy, and prepare our hearts to receive Him.

To make room for Christ to we need to let go of some of the things that may be taking up unnecessary space. Things like worry, doubt, fear, sadness, confusion, anxiety, jealousy, anger, negativity.   These things try to take over the spaces that should be filled by God and His love, mercy, and peace. And so in order to receive Jesus fully in the Holy Eucharist, we empty out all of these negative feelings. We empty ourselves before the Lord in the full trust that He will fill us with everything that we need and more.

For me, sometimes that emptying of myself comes out in tears. As I empty the negative feelings and emotions from my heart, the tears flow. And when I receive my Lord in the Eucharist, I am filled with peace. The tears fade away and I feel renewed in mind and spirit. I feel the Lord’s presence within.  I feel the Lord healing my soul.

I may not cry every Sunday, but the experience is still there. I believe we all experience it in one way or another, the release of ourselves to be more fully filled with Him. Whether released in tears, in song, or in quiet prayer, it is the healing of our souls as we prepare to receive Christ. For we are not worthy, but by His grace, His love, His word, our souls are healed.

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14 thoughts on “Heal My Soul

  1. neodecaussade January 7, 2015 at 12:39 pm Reply

    Dear roses near running waters,
    I will pray for you. God bless,

  2. wordprocessor January 7, 2015 at 1:09 pm Reply

    Beautiful, transparent sharing. Thank you for “bearing your soul”. Isn’t God wonderful beyond our comprehension?! I also cry many times when overcome by the presence of the Lord through the Holy Spirit… It can be in church or in prayer and worship with other believers or alone. It can be when I am with someone else who is also full of the Holy Spirit. Many times I cry when overwhelmed by the love and beauty of Jesus (and of His body…as I encounter Him in and through others). What a glorious mystery.

    • rosesnearrunningwaters January 7, 2015 at 1:35 pm Reply

      Yes God is wonderful indeed! You just never know when His spirit will overcome you and how it may touch your life. Thank you for reading and for your kind words. God Bless!

  3. 8kidsandabusiness January 7, 2015 at 4:40 pm Reply

    When I cry at Mass, it is usually after I receive Holy Communion. My spiritual director calls it the gift of tears

    • rosesnearrunningwaters January 7, 2015 at 6:35 pm Reply

      The gift of tears. I like that :). Thanks so much for reading & commenting. God Bless!

  4. Theresa @ HappyAlmostHomemaker January 7, 2015 at 5:40 pm Reply

    Yes! This, this this this this. I also feel a strong and often overwhelming need for tears between the Consecration and Holy Communion. Isn’t it beautiful the way that the Mass sort of majestically builds and builds to that moment of Sacrifice? Something about how perfectly it’s orchestrated really contributes to my ability to offer myself, my heart, up there on the altar with Our Lord in those moments. They’re so precious, even when they’re fewer and farther between than I like during “dry seasons.” My heart just leapt up with how much I identified with what you wrote. 🙂 Thanks for writing it. And know that I’m praying for you guys constantly!

    • rosesnearrunningwaters January 7, 2015 at 6:37 pm Reply

      I am so glad to hear you could identify with this. The Mass is truly so beautiful and such a gift isn’t it? Thank you for reading and for your continued prayers :). You are in mine too. God Bless!

  5. reinkat January 8, 2015 at 1:46 am Reply

    thanks for your beautiful insights.
    I sometimes cry after recieving the Eucharist, and have been befuddled by it, as it just seems to happen. I find myself embarrassed and hoping that nobody is noticing.

    • rosesnearrunningwaters January 8, 2015 at 9:05 am Reply

      I have felt the same way…isn’t it nice to realize so many people are having the very same experience we feel embarrassed about? I really do think it is a healthy release of emotions as our souls are being healed…like 8kids wrote in her comment, it’s the gift of tears! God Bless!

  6. babbelle January 16, 2015 at 1:43 pm Reply

    Last week i went to an Orthodox Church for the very first time. I realized that I’m very “latinized” 😀 i came in to search for a Holy Water to make sign of the Cross. (Of course i didn’t find it, duh! 😀 )

    There was a Divine Liturgy. I cried and didn’t know why 😀

  7. connieann April 6, 2015 at 3:03 pm Reply

    This is so beautiful. I’m a fellow “mass-crier”, also during communion. My husband would always worry if I was ok, until I finally told him that crying at mass is a “normal” thing for me. I think you’re on the right track with the idea of tears being an “emptying”. I’ve come to think of tears as a sign of healing. Just like a cut itches when it starts to heal, tears are the “itching”, the sign of a soul that is healing. A nun I knew in high school used to say that I was one of those people who have “the gift of tears” during Mass. I’m not sure if that is the same thing. Maybe it is.

    • rosesnearrunningwaters April 6, 2015 at 6:05 pm Reply

      My husband used to get worried when I started crying too. Now I think he expects it 😉

      I like thinking of it as a sign of healing too. God Bless!

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