Praying through Infertility – Adopt-a-Blogger

Adopt-a-Blogger-CircleMany times when we face struggles in our lives, especially personal struggles, we are tempted to keep it all to ourselves.  To deal with the feelings, the emotions, the hurt, completely on our own.  We think that because it is a private struggle, we should hide it from others.  But the truth is that when we share our trials with others, when we bring our struggles out of the darkness and into the light, we open ourselves up to the powerful prayers of many others and may even inspire someone else along the way.  Throughout our journey of infertility, I have gradually begun to share more of our story.  This month, I am humbly blessed to to be chosen as the September Blogger of the Month for the Adopt-a-Blogger Prayer Campaign run by Conceiving Hope.  The Adopt-a-Blogger campaign chooses one blogger each month who is struggling in their journey to have children and asks for the readers to pray for that person throughout the month.  I am so blessed and thankful for all your prayers and wanted to share a little more about my journey:

I have always wanted to a mom.  I imagined meeting a wonderful man, getting married and having a great big family.  I was blessed to meet the man of my dreams my senior year of college and we were married a year after graduation,  He was everything I could have hoped for, and then some.  I couldn’t wait to start our family together.

Fast forward through four years of marriage, three years of actively trying for a family, numerous negative pregnancy tests, temperature charting, ultrasounds, medication, missed cycles, blood work, two HSGs, ovarian cysts, and a laparoscopy.  I have discovered that I have poly-cystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) and stage IV endometriosis.  The combination of the two has resulted in a frequent lack of ovulation.  Through all of this, I am still not a mom.  The second bedroom in our apartment is still not a baby’s room.  And I still keep hoping for next month.

Infertility is an exhausting journey.  It drains you physically, mentally, financially, and emotionally.  Because every month I can’t help but hope for a pregnancy, every month there is ample room for disappointment.  There are tears and questions and worries and doubts.  I never expected it would be so hard to do something so natural.

No matter how tough it gets, I strive to remember all that I have been blessed with.  I have been blessed with the most wonderful husband who stands by my side, who makes me laugh, who puts up with my crazy emotions, and who always reminds me that God is in control.  I have been blessed with incredible family and friends who help me along the journey.  And I have been blessed with an adorable little dog who snuggles up with me when I need a good cry.  For these and countless other blessings, I know I have to thank my Lord.

Because in the midst of all the tears and frustrations, God is still there.  I may not understand His timing.  I may not understand His will.  But I know in my heart, beyond a doubt, that my husband and I were meant to be parents.  I know that my God loves us and has a plan for us that is far greater than any I could come up with on my own.  And so month after month, as the hope turns to disappointment, I turn to the Lord.  I cry out to Him, I plead with Him, and I ask Him to give me the strength to go through it another month.  He never disappoints.

There are little victories along the way.  Gentle nudgings from God that seem to tell me not to give up yet!  Things are looking up from a medical standpoint and I have every reason to believe and hope that we will be blessed with a child.  I don’t know when or how, but I know it will happen.  Even though I know these things in my heart, the emotions can take over at times and I humbly ask for your prayers to help me through this struggle.  Prayers for my husband and I to stay strong in our marriage and to grow even closer in our relationship with each other and with God.  Prayers that we will conceive and that God will bless us with a precious baby to add to our little family of two. Prayers that my will might be one with the will of the Lord.  And prayers that through all the struggles, the ups and the downs, we will always remember to look at the numerous blessings we have been given and trust in the Lord.

Thank you so much for your prayers and know that you are in mine as well.

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27 thoughts on “Praying through Infertility – Adopt-a-Blogger

  1. Peter September 1, 2015 at 4:54 am Reply

    Whilst I have never experienced what you are going through I can empathize with you. All I can do is to pray for you and your husband and leave the outcome in God’s more than capable hands

    • rosesnearrunningwaters September 1, 2015 at 6:57 am Reply

      Thank you! I am very thankful for your prayers and will keep you in mine as well. God is in control, we just need to trust and be patient. God bless!

  2. […] Source: Praying through Infertility – Adopt-a-Blogger […]

  3. conceivinghope September 1, 2015 at 8:24 am Reply

    Privileged to prayer for you this month. God’s peace and love to you all September long!! ❤

    • rosesnearrunningwaters September 1, 2015 at 9:55 am Reply

      Thank you! I am humbled by your prayers and will keep you in mine as well! God Bless!

  4. Theresa @ HappyAlmostHomemaker September 1, 2015 at 9:37 am Reply

    Beautiful post from a beautiful soul. You’re in my prayers frequently. I’m so glad that you shared. Stage IV endo is definitely not fun, but I’m so, so glad that they’re getting to the bottom of it. Lots of love and prayers!

    • rosesnearrunningwaters September 1, 2015 at 9:56 am Reply

      Thank you so much Theresa. I am very thankful that we are getting to the bottom of it all, for pregnancy I pray, but also for my overall health. You’ll be in my prayers as well! God Bless!

  5. SR September 2, 2015 at 12:45 pm Reply

    Praying for your daily. Remember my daughter who had 7 miscarriages then got pregnant with a little boy and a little girl. Those twins were most assuredly a miracle. It took over 10 years, but with lots of prayers it happened. I cannot relate and I know that, as I had children. I could never relate to the exact pain my daughter was enduring either. She always told me, “Mom, just be there to listen.” Know I am here, to listen. Love you and God bless, SR

  6. reinkat September 3, 2015 at 2:02 am Reply

    As others have said above, I don’t know exactly how you feel and how to relate, but I pray that your pain is eased and your prayers are answered with a beautiful healthy child. I will be praying for you, and have been as I read your blog.

  7. September 7, 2015 at 6:39 pm Reply

    Thanks for the post. I too know this struggle. Prayers and love to you sister. May the peace of the Lord always be with you!

  8. Lucky As Sunshine September 8, 2015 at 11:18 am Reply

    Prayers for you this month.

  9. Sarah September 15, 2015 at 1:31 pm Reply

    Prayers for you this month. I was the “adopted” blogger last month and there was so much grace…bask in it my blogger friend. 🙂

    • rosesnearrunningwaters September 15, 2015 at 1:37 pm Reply

      Thank you so much! I am so humbled by everyone’s prayers. I will be praying for you as well! God Bless!

  10. monicakay September 15, 2015 at 3:33 pm Reply

    Fellow blogger in Christ,
    How did God affirm that you will be a mother one day despite your adversities? What did you feel in your heart? Lately, I have been discerning my vocation, and I feel this ache and longing a deeper connection with someone marriage, but I do not see anything in sight. I can’t really understand his plans, but I suppose that’s where faith kicks in. Maybe you can shed some light in me.

    • monicakay September 15, 2015 at 3:34 pm Reply

      And I will be praying one day you will have a family!

    • rosesnearrunningwaters September 15, 2015 at 4:17 pm Reply

      Thank you so much for your prayers! As for your question, I have always felt called to be a mother. Something inside me just knew I was meant to be. I always loved being around children, caring for them, etc. I just never dreamed it would be such a long road! There have been times when I thought that maybe I had it wrong, maybe I’m not meant to be a mother, maybe I need to search in other directions for my calling. But each time those feelings creep up, something happens that tells me not to let go to the promise of motherhood. It might be a bit of good medical news or a story of someone else who overcame similar difficulties that I learn right as I think I’ve had enough. Something comes along that tugs at my heart and says don’t give up just yet!

      Almost a year ago I was really struggling with it and decided to really go deeper in my faith to search for God’s will. I participated in a 33 Days to Morning Glory Retreat which really had a profound effect on me. That experience is enough for another post in itself (which I think I will do soon…) but in brief, I received a sort of affirmation during this retreat that led me to know in my heart my prayers were not in vain.

      I will say though that it is much easier said than done. I try to keep my blog posts positive and focused on faith. But in truth there are many many times I struggle with the same thing you describe in longing for a spouse. It is so hard to have faith when we don’t know what lies ahead! I hope that helps some. Prayers for you! We may all be at different points in our lives and facing different struggles, but in reality we are all on this journey together! Love & Blessings to you!

      • monicakay September 15, 2015 at 4:27 pm

        Ohhh yes!! I would love to read about your 33 day retreat. I agree with you about the tugging of the heart. Somehow, I feel that God is telling me that he will grant me an incredible love. A love that others thought was impossible to achieve. I’m not sure what this “impossible” word entails since everything is vague still, but scripture says miracles are going to happen.

        You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples. (‭Psalm‬ ‭77‬:‭14‬ NIV)
        Your miracle will happen too! God bless.

      • rosesnearrunningwaters September 15, 2015 at 4:41 pm

        God truly does perform miracles!!! I highly recommend the retreat. I will try to post on it in the next few days.

      • monicakay September 15, 2015 at 4:47 pm

        I just looked up the book on Amazon! I’m going to buy it! 😊

      • rosesnearrunningwaters September 17, 2015 at 1:03 pm

        Monicakay I just posted a little about my experience with the 33 Days retreat and how it opened my heart here:
        God Bless!

  11. Melody September 22, 2015 at 1:22 pm Reply

    Praying for you this month!! 🙂

  12. Enough | roses near running waters December 8, 2015 at 11:26 am Reply

    […] a few years of dealing with infertility, it can seem like there are two options available: continue to pursue medical treatment or begin […]

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